23 June 2008

I deserve a medal!

I do.
And it shall say "Murphy fucked with me! But I WON!"

OK a bit extreme, but what a fucked up week.

Yes it is only Monday, but I'm counting the last 7 or so days....memory is a bit blurred, so not sure what happened when, but it WAS in the last week.....Things happen in three's right? I am posting this while pummeling myself against my wooden furniture, just so I don't jinx myself!

1.We FINALLY got some sunshine, so I decided to mow the lawns.
Bring out the whipper snipper, bring out my 'instructions" cos it's been a while...the mother fucker won't start!
My arms are weak and shaky, so I kick it! My elderly neighbour calls over the fence that she will excuse me if I swear 'because THOSE things are a SHIT to start!"
I can't laugh...I am too pissed off....my shoulder feels like it is dislocated....now I can't swear, because I don't like having permission to do so!
Then I notice the pump thingamajig is cracked, and is leaking petrol....DUH! (Just remember I have been pulling on this fucker on and off for over 2 hours....I hurt!)
But I get a glimmer of hope and pull out the yellow pages.
Ring the local mower repair dudes.."Is it just the pump thingamajig?"
ME: "I assume so...started fine last time"
Mower repair dude: "Easy...bring it in we'll fix it! $10"
ME: "You for real??? be there in 5!"
I shoulda fucking known better.
Long story short.. pump thingamajigs gone...inner tube thingamees gone...carburetor gone....will cost almost as much to fix it as it will to buy a new one..

Of course it will!
Bundled the pulled apart bits in a bag, tied it to the handle to offer the God...ahem...I mean AH.
My fix: poison all the edges! Borrow the neighbours whipper snipper for bits I can't poison!
DONE...fuck you! Murphy!!!!

2. My vacuum has had some issues of late, like smelling of fire, black puffs of dust/smoke/NFI coming out, not sucking etc. I tried to fix him. Thought it was the filter, cleaned both of them and put them back, changed bags, cleaned all the nozzles, fixed all the attachments etc etc.
Turned it on with hope of AT LEAST doing the floor rugs.....its not doing much at all...and the smell is BAD!!! Turn around and the mother fucker has smoke billowing out of it!!!!
So i throw it out the back door....and I SWORE LOUDLY...because nobody gave me permission to!
My fix: Pretty lame, I WILL miss the vacc...but we have NO carpet except two floor rugs, so I CAN sweep. I HATE sweeping...BUT I CAN! Or maybe it's time to teach the kids! I also have a Carpet sweeper which isn't too great but is better since I found the main problem...HAIR!!! LOTS OF HAIR!!! No pets! I shed hair like no one else...seriously...I am surprised I am not bald the SHIT gets EVERYWHERE! So regular defuzzing of Carpet Sweeper is also needed. Done! Not happy...but I will SURVIVE Murphy...YOU hear that?!?! MOther FUcker!

3.My fucking washing Machine bit the dust this morning! It too has been behaving badly of late...beeping at me constantly to manually fill it one day, then running perfectly the next. This morning though it did not sing it's familiar melody, it changed. Also the familiar lights were not flashing asking for cold water, or load readjustment....no blinking at all...just 4 random lights shining up at me, taunting me! Found the manual to decode it's foreign language...all it said was 'call a repairman'. Well I've tried that before and it didn't fix things...so I SWORE at it (again without permission) & kicked it several times.
My fix: Then I looked at renting one....$12 a week minimum for a 5.5kg used machine for 18 months!
So I went to see if I could get 'interest free' credit.
Got approved for $1000 which is about $20 a week.
And got myself a NEW & SHINY 8kg water efficient machine that I will OWN in 1 year. My last machine lasted me 10 years, so am hoping this will do the same...HAPPY! PLUS I will get $150 rebate WOOT! And I just LOVE me some new shiny white goods :D

But it is a bit sucky that I couldn't get finance for DD's op but I could for a washer! But I guess that is the way of the world huh! Maybe we need interest free finance on medical needs!!! Now there's an idea!

Ooh and on other news....
I did text the AH "you FORGOT to drop of DS footy boots" and left it that...heard nothing...surprise, surprise! Finally set the Wii up for the kids and he had also *FORGOTTEN* the Wii mote....so DS rang him to tell him & he dropped them both off Fri night.
I am not speaking to him! Not in a "Silent treatment" fashion or "playing games", just I can't be fucked wasting my breath, and playing games & waiting to see what mood he is in at any given time. He basically ignored me first time I saw him next after the outburst...which was fine by me. Second time he tried putting on the friendly, nice guy act....not buying it...'Hi, here you go, kids need/want/ have xyz, seeya!'

Pfft! I have a spy on my side. I KNOW what he does, what he says, and I know what I see, the 2 are astonishingly different....

He's trying to play, and I am, now, choosing not to :-)



Kelley said...

YAY at teh washing machine..

Fuckers at the rest but


The Arthur Family said...

YAY Murphey lost!! bout bloody time ;)