15 February 2008

Frugal Menu Plan...

Haven't done a menu plan for a while, but I'm really stretching the dollars atm so I did one up yesterday, trying to focus on what I already had in the freezer/pantry, without it getting too boring....
So here we go:
Thurs: Chops & veg (let kids pick the veg so was carrot, asparagus, beans & mashed spuds)
Fri: Hotdogs (have heaps of hotdogs in the freezer, bought the buns at Aldi 3 for 90cents)
Sat: Spag bol (all ingredients here)
Sun: Kids at the AH's for dinner, I'll do toasted foccacia or Lean Cuisine type job.
Mon: Roast Chook & veg & gravy (bought all ingredients, but a kids fave, plus with only 3 of us the meat stretches)
Tue: "Easy" nuggets, chips & salad, or premade frozen homemade pizzas etc
Wed: Kids at their dads....see above.
Thurs: Chicken pasta bake. (Chicken from roast, all other ingredients on hand)
Fri: Kids at their dads, see above
Sat: Chicken soup & toasties (Made from roast carcass, other ingredients on hand, this is new, we don't normally "do" soup)
Sun: Quiche (ingredients on hand....kids new to quiche but didn't mind it last time, and it's good for my lunches the next 2 days)
Mon: Steak & veg (Steak on hand, veg bought)
Tue: "Easy" see above
Wed: Kids at AH's (see above)

I still spent $150 on groceries.....which is good, but feel I can still do better. DD was home sick, which didn't help, but I was good and her requests only added another $10 or so.

My fridge/freezer/pantry are well stocked, so hopefully next f/night I can bring it down even more..... I just struggle with a bit of seperated parent guilt/competition & getting food into them that they like & is generally healthy too as the AH stocks them up on junk.


14 February 2008

Who'd have smart kids????

My motherly muck-ups are too numerous too mention.....
At this stage in their growth & development they happen all too frequently.....especially with DS...he's such a nosey bugger....
I remember a few times where I found him 'reading' things....things I wrote in my diary, things on notepads, over my shoulder on the internet.......I forgot the little blighter could read now, and it took me a while to realise and take precautions. I am more careful.
But this morning made me realise just how careful I have to be....with everything....he is too switched on.
I am a MAD Matchbox 20/Rob Thomas fan (chose concert tickets over my childrens education..... well kinda lol), and they have a song called *ALL YOUR REASONS*, I would link but not sure about copyright. Anyhoo, this has been my ANTHEM to the AH.
On the way to school this AM, my phone rang, and as it was in my bag, on the back seat, DS grabbed it, and it started with this song, which the kids know & love, lol. We missed the call with all the scrambling, but I said to the kids "Oh don't worry, it was dad returning E's call, we'll speak to him tonight"
DS pipes up "How do you know it was dad?"
ME : 'Oh cos I put that song on for when dad calls"
DS: 'Oh....why?"
ME: "ummmm just so I know when it's your dad, not someone else"
DS: " Oh, I know......you & dad broke up so you don't want to hear all his reasons"
ME : GULP! maybe I should change ring tones "Ummm no, I just like that song"
DS: (singing)" What you got, I don't need it, I can't listen, to all your reasons..."
"No....it's because you don't want to listen to him, isn't it?"
ME: " So what have you got happening in school today?"

Time to change my ringtone I think!

I have heard you can get "oinks", do you think he'd figure that out?


12 February 2008

Yet another brain spew ~ mediation.

We finally had our mediation today.
My anxiety was wreaking havoc, and I was shaking like a leaf the first hour, and then intermittently thoughout the proceedings, when something touched a nerve. But I stood my ground, did not excuse myself, and managed to get across most of the points I wanted to make.
I REALLY wanted us to start doing alternate weekends, but I didn't get it :-( But it will start once the AH gets his own place. He made a fuss on how hard it was at his parents, which I do understand, but still, it's hard to plan trips to see friends and family when I only have a day to play with. These can be negotiated though, with 'his' nights made up during the week.....so we'll see how we go.
Most other things got sorted & it's all written down. We have the opportunity to formalise it, through the courts, but I think we'll play it by ear for now, hopefully we won't have to go down that route.
One of our 'agreements' with regard to the weekends was setting set times for changeover, and for each of us to have equal weekend time. So now it goes Friday school pick up until 7pm Saturday ~changeover ~ until 7pm Sunday. Which was a lot better than what I was getting before, where he would pick them up lunch Saturday & have them till whenever he felt like bringing them back on Sunday. It basically made my chance of doing weekend stuff with them impossible. It also gave a set time so it was clear who was providing dinner. Then we rotate who gets the Friday night & who gets the Saturday night. That sounds fucking complicated, bit it's not really.
He also has them every Wednesday night....and I stipulated that it should be his responsibility to pick the kids up then......that went down like a fucking Lead Balloon....but it was agreed upon. (Previously I was picking them up at 3.15pm from School racing them home, feeding & dressing them, ready for him to pick them up at 4pm ~ maybe I'm pedantic, but I think Co-parenting means all the mundane stuff as well as the fun IYKWIM)
He also admitted to feeding them crap all the time, claimed it wasn't his fault, it was his mums (re/lollies, softdrink etc) I told him to grow some balls. But then he came back and said they have to eat takeaway because he can't expect his mum to cook all their meals..... WTF MORON!!! YOU cook you idiot! You managed whilst I was pregnant, you can do a BBQ, you have access to a kitchen.......what will be your excuse once you are in your place? That mummy isn't there to cook for you.....FUCKING GROW UP!
I'm soooo exhausted.....I feel like I was pulled apart & slapped back together again, and someone put my brain in my arse by accident!
We spoke briefly outside the mediation about the furniture he wants.....no worries.....I just wish he'd take all his other CRAP! There is still clothes in the cupboard, not to mention his fucking Biographies on Mass murderers, and boxing & Miami Vice DVD collections, and fucking Mike Tyson pictures.....I'll miss them like a hole in the head!
We also arranged that he'd have the kids tonight rather than Wednesday as he is going away for work tomorrow, he said he's email me the time he's pick them up. I emailed asking when he was due back, and whether he wanted Friday or Saturday night this week. His response was that he was busy at work (no worries) so would pick them up at 5pm tonight. And that he gets back Saturday, and he would pick them up at 3-4pm & drop them home Sunday at 6pm!!!! WTF We just sorted this in mediation!!!!
I email him back, stating what we had just agreed to in mediation ~ NO RESPONSE! This is something that was also brought up in mediation, his lack of response to my emails/messages....
When he picked the kids up I asked if he got my email, he says no.... I sent it at 3.30pm....he'd been working until 4.45????? WHY or yet another lie & power play?
I wanted to punch him in the head, but instead I just said
"Well I guess you will read it in the morning and can respond then?"

Oh but I did get a roaring good laugh at the end of mediation, although I did try to contain myself.

Just as we were leaving he said that he "Wanted forewarning, when (my) boyfriend....I mean....future partner moves in with" me......LOL....He is soooo convinced I have a new boyfriend....well he was convinced that when I was in the grips of full blown agoraphobia, and couldn't check my own letterbox, that I was having an affair, so it's not that surprising. I just said, shaking my head, that I feel that goes both ways..... Then we shook hands with the moderators, and walked out, then my phone beeps....and it was the "Stalker".....I tried to stifle my laughter, but the look on his face was PRICELESS!

I can only guess as he was standing behind me that he probably saw the message, which said...
"I'll see you at 6.30pm sexy"


**Thought I should add a quick disclaimer....Stalker is NOT my boyfriend in any way, shape or form....he is just hopeful (and hasn't got a chance BTW)....and playful....and sends me random texts, or we chat occassionally (not normally in this context), which have no substance just friendly-like you know, just the timing on this one was incredibley funny. And NO! I was not seeing him at 6.30pm!

09 February 2008

My Gay Kiwi Stalker

Let me set the scene....
My good friend 'N" & I went out....her friend 'A' managed to tag along.
N is happily married, and A is someone she knows through "kid-stuff". A is divorced. A got wind that N was going out with her newly seperated friend and somehow managed to wiggle himself a spot on the night LOL
Anyhow, we hop on the train, after I convince her NOT to cach a cab to The Cross from Richmond, and we head to Parra with roadies in hand, giggling and carrying on after 5 hours at the local pub, many beers & shots of Cock Sucking Cowboys *shudder*.
There is one other lonely train traveller in our carriage, and he is obviously taking delight in our carry on, whilst chatting on his phone.
Eventually N, who is definately not backwards in coming forward, starts chatting to this lone traveller, and convinces him to ignore his plans & come to wherever we are going.
When we all first started chatting, N whispers "he's gay!"
Then he said "sex" when he meant 6!
I whispered "no! he's Kiwi"
He then announced that we weren't whispering and he was, in fact, neither!
N also decides that at Blacktown, that we can no longer deal with trains so must catch a cab.
So we cab it to Parramatta, to the pub/club we used to frequent 8 years ago....my how it has changed...just like us, it is no longer hip & happening, but a seedy little dive!
Lone Gay Kiwi was a riot!
I hadn't laughed that hard in ages!
I also hadn't danced that hard in ages, mocking all the other idiots in the place, that was until I said "look at me!" and fell flat on my face! Literally!
I'm all class I tell ya!
Anyway Lone Gay Kiwi was having a ball, as were we, so we ALL exchanged numbers.
Now I have a stalker!
He isn't Lone. He has a girlfriend.....sort of!
He isn't Gay. His explicit messages prove that.
He isn't a Kiwi. He is Scottish!
But he won't stop texting me, and calling me! He lures me with a joke, then he continues....unless he is on a date with his "kind of" girlfriend.
40 texts the next day! STALKER!!!!

It is over 2 weeks and he still contacts me.......

He's on a date tonight, so I should be right for a while....but NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT GIVE OUT YOUR NUMBER NO MATTER WHAT......Funny Gay Kiwis can be stalkers too!

08 February 2008

Be careful what you wish for!

At the start of this year I set myself some goals for 2008. Nothing major. Didn't write them down. Just from some conversations I had with me, myself & I.
1. Quit smoking ~ the reasons for this are obvious.
2. Be good to myself ~ after all the shit I've been through with depression & agoraphobia, I think this one is really important, plus I deserve it after having the fucking life sucked out of me by AH.
3. Lose the niggly 5-6 kgs that still remains ~ I've never been huge, not in my genetic make-up I think. But since starting my current medication I put on about 8 kgs, and I was already about 3 or so over what I deem my "ideal weight". I am also not a dieter, so my plan to do this was just basics....eat better & exercise more.....well just exercise....saying 'more' implies I already do some lol.....aparrently housework doesn't count!

So I start the first 4 weeks of 2008 ignoring all of the above. Smoking heavier than ever, going out & drinking & eating too much, gorging myself on chocolate & ice cream & sour cream mmmmmm sour cream...... Sleeping in, watching movies, no exercise....unless you count my drunken stagger all over the Rocks & down George St with my sis on Australia Day, or me dancing like a lunatic with N at 2am in a seedy Parramatta club.....but I think my inability to move for 48 hours after these events negated any good it might have done.....and I digress....

So we move into week 5 and I get sick........ Thank god the kids were with the AH cos I don't even think I could have mustered the strength to throw a packet of Twisties in their general direction..... If I had had the strength I would have moved my bed next to the toilet, cos dammit it's a long walk when your dehydrated with a jackhammer going in your head and you are trying desperately not to leave a trail of spew & ...well we won't go there....all the way up the hallway and through the kitchen........ at one stage I did take a snooze on the floor of the office......I just couldn't manage the walk.......I've never known cold white hard tiles to be so comforting.....or was I dreaming that...

After 48 hours I was OK.

Then I got a sore throat....then a cold.....then all I could do was sleep....and sip fluids.....and sleep....and sweat.....and freeze......and sleep....and shake.......and freeze.......and well you get the picture. Then it hurt to breathe......then the cough came.....and then my arms ached...then my legs.....then my head....then my back......and my pulse was constantly over 100....which I couldn't work out as I was too sick to be anxious.....
When I couldn't shake it off after 4/5 days I dragged my arse to the dr....who seems to automatically assume it's my depression.....who was quite shocked that Yes! I Was Actually Sick! I have/had Acute Bronchitis with an infection somewhere.....I forgot exactly where now....so I'm on Anti-biotics (ugh!) and am starting to feel human again.....but I'm now coughing a LOT more, which makes me almost pass out!

So where was I going with this......oh that is right.....I stepped on the scales yesterday and I have lost 4.5 of those pesky kilos!!!!!

I need to get sick more often.......or not!

It has also reinforced the need to quit the fags. During all this I was still able to smoke, it didn't hurt (except that first night with the sore throat), it didn't irritate my lungs or start me coughing, which actually scares me more than if it had.

Oh and I was good & looked after me. (Kinda didn't have a choice, but it still counts right?)

2 outta 3 aint bad!