12 March 2008

"You're a nice looking girl, it won't take long to find someone new..."

I don't know HOW many times I have heard that since I separated from the AH.
And I don't get it.
From strangers, from aquaintences, from friends, from family.
Is being single a disease I have yet to hear of?
Does HE need replacing?
Do I need to be in a relationship to be happy?
Why do people think I need to find another man?
I'm not totally opposed to the idea, but fuck! It's been 4 months (in 4 days), why do people say this.
Or "I'm a nice girl......"
It's a bit of a backhanded compliment really.
I'm nice & good looking apparently, but I won't be whole until I find that elusive other half.
Half my problem's stemmed from me not being "good enough for *insert any reason on this earth*"
I kinda want to rediscover ME.
I want to enjoy being ME.
And know that I am OK just the way I am.
Without any outside influence interrupting that process.
Whenever I say "Oh I'm really not interested in finding anyone new"
I get a weird look, and then a knowing smirk (what am I missing?), and "Oh maybe not yet, but you will!"
Uuuum yeah....but what's the rush!
Can anyone tell me....has my 7 years out of the single-scene made me miss something?

1 comment:

Dollfinn! said...

No F'ing idea why they are rushing you, I got the opposite, I found mine too quickly according to most people, so I was labelled with the assumption that I had been cheating on my husband and then left him for another man. Noone seemed to care that my so called husband hadnt touched me and had refused marital rights for THREE YEARS prior to me moving out, and that he had been told six months in advance that I was moving out or that (i found out later) he was cheating on me and going out places while stupid me thought he was working (towtrucks 24/7, so i just thought he was on a tow when he said he was working).

Enjoy being yourself, I sort of did that before actually leaving the same house as Ex, but then he was never home so I was pretty much single anyway.

It is funny what you rediscover about yourself, and those years of not being good enough for anyone or anything no matter how hard you tried, well, when you finally do rediscover yourself (give it at least 6mths from full seperation and that means no more AH on lease or stuff at your place yadayada) you will suddenly feel like your 16 again but with extra knowledge and more womanly confidence if that makes sense.

Hehe as for the backhanded compliments, you need to find one or a few so you can tailor them to the person, and the next time someone says you are a nice enough girl, you say right back to them your retort.

Maybe something like "not anymore, being so nice was why my husband felt he could cheat on me and walk on me like a peice of carpet, so no more nicegirl, its MY TIME NOW".

Well you get the idea about the retort anyway.