Bits & Bobs

Just a bit of a catchup today....

I cancelled DD's operation for tomorrow.

Shed a few tears....I wish money wasn't an issue.

I found out that we aren't covered for it by the Health Insurance Co, and I just don't have $1500 lying around at the moment. And that is just the hospital. Medicare will cover about $250 which doesn't even put a dent in it (I'll leave my rant about Scheduled Fees another time!).

Now I know I was ranting and raving about the AH and his issues with paying for the op, but that was when we only thought we had a gap/excess to pay, so I'm not being hypocritical (in my mind any way....if you disagree...shutup! cos I'm a hormonal bitch at the moment!). So now I am trying to weigh up what my options are. I am waiting on a quote from the surgeon, and I am trying HARD not to stress about it until I receive that.

Options for now...

1. Go see a different ENT that services the Public Hospital...the wait will be up to 8 months, only cost will be ENT's fee (about $180).
2. Wait until the money is saved to pay up front....I'm thinking about a 3 month wait, maybe less if the AH cooperates.
3. Try and get a higher credit limit & pay for it that way....this balances on whether I'd even be approved & hoping I get some back from the AH...this would mean the op could go ahead probably within a month.
4. Wait the 6 months until we are covered. I will have to check this though as it is classed as pre-existing, so the wait may be longer.

Now the only trouble with 1,2 & 4 is that we are heading into "sick season"....well we are in it already...and whilst DD hasn't been sick for about 3 weeks now, she is getting a cold, and going on past history this means she will be back on the Merry-go-round in no time. Which means time off school, truckloads of anti-biotics & well...she'll be sick, sick isn't nice. Also, because of her ears she has a hearing problem, she is not deaf, but she has to make a real effort to hear, especially in class, she misses things in general, and comes home tired and cranky.

It is hard to not get annoyed at her, but I know there is an underlying reason, so I try my best to be understanding...but MAN she can push my buttons. And then of course DS is going through a turd phase, so I get the guilts when I pull him up on things but not her. Plus I'm sure he notices, and possibly she does too, and there is no balance and very little peace! And then my brain feels like exploding! So her being NQR effects us all in some way, shape or form...there is more, but I'm sure you get the picture.

Gah! This post was going to be a catch up on a few things, but it seems I had more to say on this matter than I thought....I still haven't had my rant about AH re the above & some other matters, the Stalker#2, my mum, my dad and other stuff....Oh well, will leave them for another post, your eyes are probably bleeding after reading this much.

But I'll leave you with a question....

What would you do out of my options above??

Or can you think of another option that I haven't?

K

**Edited to add: How's this for timing, the ENT surgeon just rang to tell me his costs. He's just lovely, another reason I don't want to go Public (The public ENT was an arse hat!), he alo told me to check out the ATO website as I may be able to claim on tax, as well as medicare, looks like the housework will have to wait, I have more research to do!

Catch-up! (and vent...oop where did that come from)

Had a busy week last week, with the course from hell, Dr's visits, and a job interview!

Yeah! Finally! Not entirely rapt with the job, and the more time that passes the worse I think the interview went, but it was an interview, so I'm happy with that. I didn't vomit, hyperventilate, swear, or say anything too stupid....so a Success! No matter what the outcome is! There have been a few jobs I've applied for lately that just seem ideal....so fingers crossed....speaking of fingers...I need to pull mine out and finish an application I'm half way through.....it's one of those tedious long and detailed pieces of shit that drive me up the wall!!!! But the job would be ideal!

I had my scan & follow up with my GP...not much to tell really....nothing is REALLY wrong...but nothing is really right either... My Gall Bladder is clear, apart from a small growth, which apparently I shouldn't worry about, and apparently shouldn't be causing my pain. There is a cyst on my kidney, which apparently is nothing to worry about, and apparently shouldn't be causing my pain either. My cholesterol is a bit off but again is apparently....well see above. My white cell count is a bit off....see above again. Some other levels are a bit off....again see above. So what is the outcome?
Keep taking the pills to help with stomach acid.
Stop drinking.
Eat healthier.
Exercise more.
Try and quit the fags.
Drink more water, less coffee.
Go back in 8 weeks and test again.
If pain continues go back sooner.
*Sigh* I feel like I've got fucking no where! So what did I do after my non-diagnosis?
I hit the town with an internet buddy that was visiting from another state and had a night of drunken debauchery, kissed a stranger, crawled in my door at 5am and slept till 2pm. It's not ALL bad.... I danced my arse off so that counts as exercise right??
Since then my self sabotage has kicked in full force....and I've been living on chocolate & lollies & softdrink.....which is just not like me....someone up there in my screwed up head is hitting the rebel button....you'd think at my age I'd be over that....but obviously not!

Onto other things...We finally had our appointment with the ENT for DD, and he's booked her in for grommets & a possible adnoidectomy. I didn't go the surgeon who did it last time....I took her to the Private Hospital. The ENT was gorgeous, and knew all about ED as his best mate in school had it....that was a nice surprise....mention ED and you normally get a blank look lol. But here's the shocker...she is booked in for the 18th of THIS MONTH! Fucking nearly fell off my chair!! It took over 6 months for the last op!
The ArseHat isn't happy though...of course, why would he be! When I told him, his only comment was that he couldn't afford it & that now she couldn't do swimming!!!
Fucktard!!!
The SAME man who has been quite vocal that "MONEY IS NO ISSUE WHEN IT COMES TO MY KIDS HEALTH!"
The same bloke who is back to his old drinking ways....What? $30+ a day.
The same bloke who is going Clubbing every weekend, so can't have the kids extra nights.
The same bloke who is back on drugs as well.
And the swimming comment?!?!?! WTF!!! Options...1: DD gets to go to swimming lessons once a week, she knows how to swim, it was just recreational. 2: DD stops having painful ear infections, fevers, further nose/throat problems as a result or ear issues, can ACTUALLY HEAR and participate in class properly AND learn, and stop missing school and life around her....hmmmm....You know he's right......very difficult choice....Moron!
I still have to chase up the exact cost, but it will get worked out somehow.
He fucking RILES me up! The amount of money he spent on fucking Hookers, the money he spends on the kids(bought them a Wii just for the hell of it), and everything mentioned above...How Fucking DARE he even THINK that he can't afford his half.....LET ALONE FUCKING SAY it out loud!

OK I weren't going to to do a psycho post....but well, it's out now....going to go SCREAM into my pillow or something now!
K

More useless dribble...

I've been sick...yes, again....I would normally say I NEVER get sick, but the last few months have proven me wrong, so I won't even go there.
I've had so much time away from the puter it's not funny, well not for an addict like me, I have about 60 blogs to catch up on, no time for my regular groups therapy. No Puter is a sign I was really sick, and still am, fuck knows whats wrong really but I look like death, so everyone's telling me, and I just can't get back to right. I do feel better though, so I'll stop the whine.
The kids were sick too.
I have missed 3 days of the training from hell, due to either mine or the kids illness, which would be FINE if it was the job from hell....but NOOOO I have to do the time no matter what! So the 3 weeks is now drawn out to 3 fucking weeks, 3 fucked up days....give me strength!
DR told me to have today off today, but I stomached food, so went in, and they MADE me do a FUCKING MOCK interview....IN! FRONT! OF! EVERYONE!....Shit like that makes me want to vomit & run at the best of times...but seeing my stomach is shredded & enjoys vomiting any which way it likes at the moment I WAS NOT HAPPY!
I got through it, and they were very kind.....me practically begging not to have to do it must have won me some sympathy votes...ARSEHOLES!

Other than that I've been an awesome mum!
Sunday I didn't leave the lounge (except to vomit & pee) but I still managed to teach my son how to defrost bread in the microwave & make a sandwich. Taught my daughter how to pour a drink. They managed to scale the neighbours fence without me to lift them. Taught my son how to run a shower for himself & his sister without burning either one of them! See I rock! Teaching them valuable life skills!

I did make the error of calling the AH when I was vomiting blood...my intention was for him to stay with the kids whilst I got myself to a dr....well best intentions and all that!
He's being TOO nice at the moment, and it has me concerned!

But on a good note, He finally picked up all his SHIT on Monday....and today...and well there's a couple of things here still....but most of it's gone.. who am I kidding...I don't think it will ever be gone ...yeah 'just' the BBQ still...hmmmm....

Oh and I am sooo going for Mother Of The Year tonight! I spent 5 hours out at "work" (wink, wink), cooked a roast, FINISHED the dishes, did all homework, tidied the house, am cooking up some home-made chicken stock, supervised the neighbours kid.....AND did a science experiment with the kids!

Need to remember that when I have my normal nights lol!

Oh and did I mention I still hate the pill!!! It's fucking bloodweek AGAIN....ALREADY!!!! The neverending period finished about 2 weeks ago....FOR CRYING OUT LOUD WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FIXING? My skin is worse than ever as well!
OK it's probably not the pills fault this time, and more due to the fact my body has been choosing not to absorb anything recently....but FUCK!

Oh but I HAVEN'T gained weight! In fact, in the first time in 7 years? No...maybe 4?? I dunno...AGES... the scales have tipped UNDER 60kgs!! I would love to celebrate this but again it's not due to the pill or anything I have voluntarily done. And I feel like SHIT, so it kinda takes the shine off IYKWIM. Plus, lets be truthful....give me my old stomach back....and my old appetite, and it won't last long....

OK think the drugs are kicking in, best go check on kids & hit the hay myself *YAWN*
Enough spasticity (yes that is now a word!) from me for one night...or is it a week?

Later
K

Back on the medical merry-go-round..

Ever since E's grommets have fallen out, about 6-7 months ago, she has had constant ear infections....AGAIN!
Our weeks have gone like this...E complaining of something Not Quite Right....visit Dr "oooh yes her ears are quite red & there is a lot of fluid, here's some antibiotics, come back in a week or 2"....E's fine again, go back to Dr "yep, all clear"....a week later E complains of something Not Quite Right....visit Dr "oooh yes her ears are quite red & there is a lot of fluid, here's some antibiotics..." and well, I guess you get the picture.
In December I noticed she wasn't hearing too well. And it coincided with her ears again not feeling right....and about 1-2 weeks since her last dose of antibiotics. Seeing a pattern?
We were away, so we went to see the dr again once we returned home. This time we got a referral to get her hearing tested.
The appointment was made.
It finally came yesterday.....yep it took over 4 months just to get the test.
In between we have had the same cycle. Ear bad..take meds...ear good...finish meds...ear bad..take meds etc etc. Her hearing has come & gone....but mostly it's gone! But we waited patiently.
Test results from yesterday? She's deaf! OK not completely deaf, but she has about 50% hearing in her left ear & 60-70% in her right. It is all treatable of course but it's just the extremely long waiting game that drives me insane. The tester said she would be really struggling to hear in class, and if she's grumpy & tired from school that would be why. Well she's a right bitch after school! She has been struggling in class. Emotionally mostly, she's very clever. I had put most of it down to her dad & I separating.

Now once again I am fraught with feelings of inadequacy as a parent. Why didn't I put 2 and 2 together? J had the same issues...his hearing was worse...but he's had no problems since the grommets...or has he?

They both have speech issues that I don't even hear? The tester asked me how her speech was, I said fine...then she noted a lisp! What lisp? That's not a lisp, that's just E.
I know she has some small issues...like trouble with "Th" saying it "f"...but I did that as a kid! Plus with her ED and her lack of teeth, the spacing, size etc....I guess I put down any small differences to that!

So now I want to get J's hearing tested too...just to be sure....as it has been pointed out to me that he still speaks like he has adenoid problems...which were fixed nearly 2 years ago.....and as I am a bad mother, I don't notice and need these things pointed out!

AS far as E goes we are back on the merry-go-round. She is back on antibiotics, because her ears are infected again. And I called 5 ENT's and the earliest I can get in is June 6th.

Then What?

More Grommets?

I HATE having my kids put under....:-(...I sooo don't want to do that again! It was AWFUL! But at the same time why does the process take so fucking long! It's a joke! Once I finally get into the ENT it could take months again for the op....I think we waited 7 months last time...and we pushed it!

So in the meantime, we keep pumping in the antibiotics, which I hate, tell her teacher to speak in her right ear & sit her up the front of the class, and hope the child doesn't get any MORE screwed up & miserable!

K

Hangover from Hell!

I AM NEVER EATING CHOCOLATE AGAIN!

Give me wine, beer, Baileys (mmmm Baileys...), ANYTHING...I will drink fucking Rocket Fuel and enjoy the aftermath more!

Give me drugs....legal, illegal.....mixed with battery acid & 5 spice....it has got to be better!

I have felt like absolute crap for the past few days, have been skulling water like it's liquid gold.

Honestly! I didn't eat that much! But that is ALL I can attribute it to...the FUCKING chocolate!

I just want to spew, shit, cry, scream and rip my own limbs off!

The Farking White Wabbit has some answering to do!

Firstly....he fucking trashedthe joint! There was a white powdery substance EVERYWHERE, then after the kids demolished the place looking for eggs, there was teensy eensy bits of coloured foil all over the place, and brown smears all over the floors. Which I am honestly not sure if it was Bunneh Shit, Kid Shit or chocolate egg that just didn't quite make it in the mouth fast enough!

Secondly...my kids have been feral! I tried to get them eat it all in one day, to be over and done with....but Noooooo! I still have a FRIDGE.FUCKING.FULL.TO.THE.BRIM. WITH. CHOCOLATE!!!!

Thirdly...I was feeling the effects of chocolate overload, on SUNDAY, but kept being tempted! (Remember the Fridge, and I haven't mentioned the rest!) I HAVEN'T EATEN THAT MUCH...but it screws with me! Seeing it in the shops since christmas has made me eat it constantly! As in a little bit a day! But it's too much! Today I feel a little better, and I haven't had any...Proof enough! But it has STILL taken over my brain! I stand in the checkout queue and see alllll that chocolatey goodness, and WANT TO BUY IT! HELLO WOMAN, REMEMBER YOUR HOUSE IS ALMOST MADE OF THE SHIT!

I AM OVER CHOCOLATE!

And I STILL haven't opened the Fererro Rochers...hmmmmmm......If you had an AH, and that AH gave you your fave chockies, Would you eat them?
I'm not game.....

Yet!

Plus chocolate is still EVIL!

I HAVE THE FLU!

I never say I have the flu for a cold, and it irks me when other people say they have the flu, when they obviously have not! So this is a big admission from me.
WHY?
Because years ago I actually got the flu, and it saw me bedridden for 5 days only leaving for the toilet, meds, and water. The flu & the common cold are 2 totally separate and different illnesses.
Last Wednesday, I felt I was coming down with something, or just run down...or something...Then I spent Thursday - Sunday just struggling to get warm....but I still managed the kid stuff and the basics of keeping house.....my glands were huge, I was all clogged up and my eyes & nose wouldn't stop running. I had no cough. But I wasn't bedridden. So it wasn't the flu. Here I was in fairly mild weather in a gazillion layers of clothing, shivering under a feather doona, whilst everyone else was in t-shirts.....but it wasn't the flu. Yesterday I slept, I froze, I couldn't eat, I cried, I couldn't manage to cook dinner BUT I dropped the kids at school and picked them up, so it wasn't the flu.
Last night I woke up in cold sweats many times, kicking the doona off, then searching for a warm jumper & the doona, only to kick it off absolutely drenched a little later, and so the cycle continued, till at 6am I gave up and got up.
DH finally noticed I was sick (it's rocket science you see) and took over the kid-wrangling and got them to school, so I promptly downed some Nurofen to calm my pounding brain and aching body, and curled up on the lounge with my doona and slept some more....... and YES I do have the flu.....you see when I last had it I was bedridden....but I was also single & childless, and housework & cooking did not figure into my daily life.....so I was able to be bedridden.
Why am I on here now?
I just made some instant Thai Chicken soup to enable me to stop the empty tummy from rumbling and allow me to take more drugs. But that soup cleared my nasal passages a little, and reminded me that after all that sweating, I really cannot avoid a shower any longer.
Then I will try and sleep some more before hubby brings the kids home from school & takes DS to Softball training.
Usually sweating signifies the "break" to getting better....so hopefully I'll be back to my old self soon......but my nose is blocked again now......do I really have to have that shower?????
K