16 January 2008

Funny as a fart in an elevator!

I've had a crappy time since my sojourn to visit my family down south. Obviously I'm not quite up to scratch yet. I was ignored, disrespected, bitched about, put down, humiliated...all the usual shit really...acceptance in my family is one of our biggest issues....from everyone whether they admit it or not....and then some go and do the exact same thing to me that hurts them most...go figure!


Pffft Family! Who'd have em'


Since my return to the delightful (purge!) city of Sydney, I've had crap from THE ARSEHOLE....the Child Support...the constant flow of bills from him...my inability to mother...my inability...FULL STOP! FARK ORF!


My kids have me on the edge!


My house has me in misery!


My pension has advised me I should have looked for work whilst I was away! Yah! thanks for the notice!


I'm struggling with the shared parenting thing again.




SOOO...tonight I thought "fuck them all and then some!"




Kids are at the AH's


I MADE myself go out despite feeling disgusting.......my foot's fucked, my back is up shit creek without a paddle, I'm tired, I'm crampy minus PMT, my bowels aren't being kind and I'm swaying between Marion Jones on a high then a fucking Codeine Junkie....I Just want to get off....the world I mean....although the other probably wouldn't do any harm....




So I cleansed my face, and threw a mask on....just one going mouldy in the cupboard...the peel off kind! Then decided I'd go all out and do a mini-pedicure...so grabbed the bucket, coffee/chocolate foot soak, filled it up. Dug out some foot-scrub that apparently has diamonds in it, my foot scrubber. my GOLD heel balm (my feet are just nasty ~ thanks mum)....then I found a peel-off mask for my hands, and some nail polish I forgot I had. (Light pink for my fingers....it is now on, and I remember why I forgot it, it is awful!!!!!! Did I chuck it....nooooo....back in the cupboard for next time I get excited & think it would look lovely)




Anyhoo....I digress....


Whilst my 'mask' is drying, I soak my feet, & scrub & soak & scrub & watch TV & talk on the phone.....all the while I am un-knowingly picking at the edges of my face mask.....the peel off one.....pick, watch, pick, scrub, soak, pick, talk, watch, pick........


Then, my feet were done, moisturised, soft....lurvely...so I meander....alll relaxxxxed now...into the bathroom and....




ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!




I swear I heard that stabbing music they used in old horror movies!!!!!




But then FUCK I LAUGHED SO FUCKING HARD I HAD TO TWINKLE!


And you know what....my foot stopped hurting...so did my back....I felt 29 again....


Can you just see me skipping through the daisies?




Then my father rang!


And well, I need say no more! Back to feeling 50, although with a smoother face, softer hands, and feet that don't rip up the floorboards....for now :-)




K




3 comments:

Lightening said...

ROFLMAO!!!! So you FINALLY decide to show your face in public and you chose THAT ONE??????? LOLOLOL. Well, you made me laugh anyway. I'm sorry things have been rough but GO YOU on deciding to pamper yourself. Had to laugh about the nail polish too cos that's EXACTLY what I would have done (chucked it back in the cupboard). :)

Kirstie said...

LOL Well it is MUCH easier to post a photo that is meant to be ugly, than one that is ugly not on purpose. Somehow that sentence made sense to me, not sure it will to any one else!

K

Dollfinn! said...

LOL that is funny and yes the sentence makes sense. As for the nailpolish, pass it down to your daughter (with control due to age). Mine lurvves nailpolish on fingernails and toenails, especially to wear to soccer (you cant see toenails in soccer socks and soccer boots lol) so she can look pretty while slamming boys to get the soccer ball off them. Also cant wear nailpolish to school, but toenails are inside school shoes, so she knows its there and they dont lol it makes her happy so i dont mind!