23 December 2007

Life sucks & then you die!

Just found out my mums cancer news is not good.
She probably won't make it through the year. She is starting Chemo again in January, but the dr isn't really positive about her body coping with it. It's at the point where if the cancer doesn't kill her, the treatment probably will.
I just spoke to her, and in all honesty, she sounded like shit! Tired and old....... My step father isn't coping well apparently, he's always been the upbeat, positive, stereotypical Aussie Larrikin. I think reality has hit, and he is a broken man. I didn't get a chance to speak to him, but I spoke to my sister K, and she told me everything.
There is soo much shit going on in my family. 2 estranged daughters. Nasty stuff. Stuff that needs to be sorted. Sad shit! If they can all just get past the anger & hurt, maybe it isn't too late...but I'm afraid it may be too late....for 1 sister anyway.....
After much indecision, I decided today, prior to getting the above news, I wouldn't go to mums for xmas day. For a few reasons.....the main being resistance from the ArseHole...2ndly J has come down sick today, I think it may be what E had a week ago, so could well last up to a week & may get worse in between (not great for a 6+ hour drive), 3rdly E's b'day is on 1/1 and her fandangle present is in getting repaired (hopefully), so I kind of have to stay put to find out what's going on with that. If I go to Albury, I need to stay at least a week to make it worth it. And 4thly....finally....I have my gyno appointment on the 7th....to see if AH has infected me from his romping with trollops! I had to wait 7 weeks for the appointment, I really don't want to wait another 7.
Gosh! that all sounds rather shallow!
I will be going down, but most likely in the 2nd week of Jan. That is when mum starts treatment. She most likely won't be sick from the first lot, so that should be OK. (Oh and by that I don't mean I don't want to be there to look after her, it's more that the kids can be quite taxing on her, and she doesn't need that IYKWIM.
At some time in the next few days I need to ring and try & reason with the 2 'estranged' sisters...sigh....
Right now I need to go wrap some presents now the kids are asleep. Turn on my xmas lights to try and get some semblance of peace & joy. I had apathy towards xmas before....now any spirit that was tucked deep down inside has been drained completely....and here I was thinking 2008 had to be better.....
At least I've been put in my spot!
I can live with no air-con in the car, a dodgy washing machine, an AH for an EXH.....my mum....well that's another story....despite all our differences......OK getting teary now....time to move on and focus....just for the next few days....

Hug your loved ones!


Lisa - FIA said...

OH Honey...

HUGE HUGS coming your way, there is something in my eye as well...

K, if you ever need to vent, give me a call you still have my number...



agrantham81 said...


Dont know if your sence of humour is up to this:

Just think if it keeps getting worse it wasn't that bad. If it cant get any worse, well then it can only get better.

If it wasn't I'm sorry.

Remember YOU ARE doing really well.

I dont think you sound shallow, you are trying to do the best in the worst situation.

More Hugs.


Desertqueen said...

Bunches of hugs for you. I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope that your step-Dad can come to terms with it all soon, it must be very difficult.

And good luck with sorting out your estranged sisters. I hope that the spirit of Christmas and your Mum's illness make them see reason. If not, they are the ones that have to live with their decision, you did your bit by talking to them.

And if you got to your Mum's after your appointment then you can relax about you hopefully and concentrate on spending time with her.

Anonymous said...


I hope you have a special time in Albury with your Mum. Don;t put too much pressure on sorting things out with your sisters. Your relationship with your Mum is the most important for you.

Lots & lots of Hugs.