18 October 2007

Shitty Day


It's 11am and I've only just been able to get myself to have a shower. I hate days like today. From the second my eyes opened I've been ultra anxious. Hate it! Days like today I actually want to have an anxiety attack, cos I just feel like I'm pent up to the point before climax, and the waiting, and the crazy thinking, and the jumpiness, and the internal screaming is just seconds from pushing me over the edge. But of course if you want a panic attack, it never comes! So I feel like I'm stuck at that awful phase, where it doesn't wane, but it won't peak either!

This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

I need a plan, the house needs some work, and although that won't quell my anxiety, it will be a distraction, give me a small feeling of control, and will stop the "done nothing but pace the house guilts".

So first...
Finish my Morning Routine.
Wash the frypan, that DH apparently washed last night, grrrr

Then my Thursday stuff......lets see......
*computer maintenance
*ALL rubbish out
*change sheets...that can wait...it's too late and looks like rain.
*Filing....I think finding the computer desk would be a better use of my time.

I also NEED to do some relaxation.

I also need to, but not necessarily today...
*Open new ING account
*Download Ricki Lees new song to ipod for DS
*Find the camping recepts
*Find DS shinpads.

I really WANT to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, for a week or so :-(

First a cuppa.....
K xx

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